best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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