Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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