i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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