He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need to calm my uterus...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
