Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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