haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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