she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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