he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
