He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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