I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
