I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize