You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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