there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
