i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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