Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
