I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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