Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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