Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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