i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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