Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize