Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize