I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This baby is an asshole
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
