Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
