No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
