Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
