he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
