no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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