Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
