someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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