hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its liver damage thursday
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
