Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
