You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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