respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
did i walk over a car last night?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
