the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We just shotgunned beers for America
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
