I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
