drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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