well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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