So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
