I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
