I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you never un-have a 4some
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
