what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
