I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
