ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
