ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
