Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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