I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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