I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize