used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
