Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
