he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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