Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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