is your mom at the bar?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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