I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
