I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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