I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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