Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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