You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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