just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize