Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize