I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
