3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
