i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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