okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
