Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize