whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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