About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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