I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
