so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
