This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
