be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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