is your mom at the bar?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
